One step closer to #3!

I was able to go for my sonohystogram today. I went at 9:30 for bloodwork to check my Prolactin and of course a pregnancy test. I had a tiny glimmer of hope... but of course it was negative. The SHG showed possible polyps in my uterus however the RE thinks it may just look that way because my lining is so thick right now (I'm a 11dpo so AF is due tomorrow). He wants the same technician to perform the CD3 ultrasound and if she thinks it still looks odd, she'll do the SHG again. So, here's to hoping it's just my lining!!!

In between the blood work and the SHG, I saw our counselor. It felt good to talk to her for the hour I had. She gave me the number of another therapist to check out that used to see infertility and pregnancy loss patients at the RE clinic. We talked about small steps toward the adoption process if this IVF doesn't work for us. We also talked through some things to help me through when my anxiety is acting up. I plan on calling the woman that she gave me, it's just a matter of when.

I saw another therapist that she had recommended about a week ago. To make a long story short, I was not comfortable with her at all. She brought up the fact that Christian and I have only been married for 2 years and that she would like to see couples wait 4 years. She said this after she knew we were infertile. She then went on to tell me how high the divorce rate is and how the divorce rate is even higher for a second marriage. She was full of negative statistics and comments. I called her a few days later and left a message stating that I would not be back because I did not feel we were a good match. She called me today. She said she wants to talk person to person. Basically, she wants more money from me. I'm not calling her back. We don't need to have a breakup! We only had one session!

Place explicitive here.

UGH!!! This is so aggrevating! I feel AF coming on. I only need her to wait one more day! We'll both be so upset if we have to postpone this IVF one more month. We're ready for it now. It feels right now. If I can just get my body to cooperate!

The Mommy Mobile

After a few months of research and two weekends of car shopping... I'm the proud owner of a mommy mobile. So, I'm sure this means the IVF will work this time :) So much for the days of no car payments!

My Fertility Bracelet

I LOVE it! My friend Gretchen from an infertility board I'm on made it for me. I feel even more hopeful wearing it!

You can check out her designs here:
Gretchen Leigh Designs

IVF #3 Here We Go...

We had our appointment with the RE on Thursday to go over our protocol for IVF #3. The only thing that he could offer to do differently this time is to give me the full HcG shot instead of 1/2. The last two times I had high estrogen levels so in order to avoid OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome), they gave me only 1/2 of the trigger shot to ovulate (HcG). He's thinking it might help for more mature eggs which may result in better egg quality thus better embryo quality.

My acupuncturist is worried about my thyroid levels and the RE is more than happy to check those again. The last time was April of 07.

We're excited to move forward however... after our appt. I called the coordinator to set up the IVF and she informed me that in order to do this mid-February, we have to get all of our testing in ASAP. There is a slight chance we might have to postpone another month if the timing doesn't work out. My sonohystegram is set for Feb. 11. If I get my period before then, we have to wait...

The timing is one of the most stressful parts about this whole thing. You can't just push something back a week... you have to wait an entire month due to our cycles! The RE agreed with us that we need to get this done ASAP while my body is still in good shape after surgery.

We are both praying that the timing works out for us! Or of course, if we found out we were pregnant before then that wouldn't be too bad either! :)

The reality of it all

We really want to go on a cruise. I really want a new car. A NICE new car. Can we afford these on our incomes? Absolutely. Should we do these things with our IF debt floating over our heads? Probably not. The reality is we are $22K in debt right now. We can dig ourselves out in 3 years at the rate we are paying things off. The reality is also that we will be adopting at some point... whether it's our first or second child. That means an additional $15-$30K. It just sucks. I know that we should be giving these things up without thinking twice because it's for a child... something we've wanted since we've met. That doesn't make it any easier to have to pass up a vacation or a nice(r) car.

The reality is I can settle on the car that wasn't at the top of my list. We can figure out a little less expensive vacation. At the same time, we really want to do it up because it will be our last vacation without a little one. Bottom line, I can't make a decision about a cruise this year until we know if our IVF has worked. If it hasn't then we can't spend that kind of money. If it works, we can. If it fails I will still need to go somewhere to escape the reality of it all.